Everything Was Going So Well…

Can we all just agree that summer is a bit of a contradiction?

On one hand...

I am LOVING this heatwave.

Give me sunshine, paddling pools, BBQs and eating every meal outside and I am a very happy person.

On the other hand...

Children's half school days.

Who came up with those?

Honestly.

I don't know about anyone else, but juggling work around a toddler in a six-hour school day is hard enough. Throw in a half day and suddenly you're trying to fit an entire working day into what feels like the length of a Bluey episode.

By the time you've done the school run, you've already lost nearly an hour.

Our round trip is about 40 minutes...

...and because I love a chat (it's practically a personality trait at this point), let's just round that up to an hour.

So somehow, in my remaining "working day", I'm expected to answer emails, pack orders, create social media content, design new products, respond to customers, make lunch, stop the toddler licking something she shouldn't, and remember to drink the cup of coffee that I thought i had made but hadn't.

Simple really.

Feeling Smug... For Approximately Three Minutes

This month's grounding moment came after what I can only describe as an incredibly successful trip into town.

I'd managed to buy all of my six-year-old's birthday presents.

No tears.

No meltdowns.

No forgotten bags.

No impulse purchases (well... almost).

I was feeling rather pleased with myself.

I asked my two-year-old to climb into the car — a job she absolutely loves — while I loaded the shopping into the boot and found the essential journey-home snacks.

Then it hit me.

The smell.

You know the one.

That smell.

So I casually said,

"Let's change your nappy before we get you strapped in."

If only I'd known what awaited me.

The Great Pull-Up Experiment

Now, I should probably explain.

We're currently trying pull-ups.

Not because we're potty trained.

Oh no.

Simply because they're easier when you're spending your life taking toddlers in and out of paddling pools... and every now and then she proudly announces she needs a wee at exactly the same time as me.

It seemed like a sensible idea.

Reader...

It was not.

I've never had this problem with my other two children.

But this child?

This child appears to have a personal vendetta against the concept of keeping her bottom inside the pull-up.

One butt cheek likes to make a surprise appearance.

Which, unfortunately, meant that on this particular occasion...

Only half the poo had stayed where it was supposed to.

The other half?

Well...

Shoes.

Hands.

Legs.

Car seat.

Car door.

Floor.

Basically, every surface she had gracefully touched while climbing into the car.

She completed the climb into her seat with the enthusiasm of an Olympic gymnast..

...and managed to smear poo across almost every available surface.

It's genuinely an impressive skill when you think about it.

Public Car Park... Public Humiliation

Cue me trying to clean an entire car while simultaneously trying not to vomit.

If you've ever tried to clean up toddler poo in 30-degree heat, you'll know that gagging isn't optional.

It's inevitable.

There I was...

Baby wipes everywhere.

Pull-up in one hand.

Antibacterial wipes in the other

.

Making noises I didn't know a human could make.

Meanwhile people were slowly walking past.

You know the sort...

They don't actually want to look.

But they absolutely are looking.

I imagine they were thinking one of three things:

"How?"

"That poor woman."

Or...

"I'm so glad that's not me."

Eventually we got everything clean.

Well...

Visibly clean.

The smell, however, had other ideas.

No amount of antibacterial gel was winning this battle.

How she then decided to dress up when we got home!

Thankfully, we have a lovely friend who lives nearby.

She welcomed us into her house (from a very safe distance!) and kindly let us wash our hands properly because one litre of hand sanitiser simply wasn't cutting it.

This was confirmed when my toddler sat in the back of the car on the way there...

...smelt her own hand...

...and gagged.

Honestly.

Even she couldn't cope with herself.

Summer Isn't Always Instagram Perfect

Social media is full of beautiful picnic blankets, matching swimwear, iced coffees and smiling children.

Meanwhile, real life is me deep-cleaning a car in a retail park while trying not to throw up.

And honestly...

I think I prefer real life.

Because these are the stories we'll laugh about one day.

Maybe not today.

But one day.

A Little Summer Survival Tip

Talking of surviving the summer...

We've put together our Summer Survival Kit Offer to help keep little imaginations busy over the holidays.

Any 2 Scene Setter Kits for just £60

Whether you're heading on holiday, visiting grandparents, planning picnics, escaping the midday heat indoors or simply trying to make it through the six-week holidays with your sanity intact, our Scene Setter Kits are designed to create hours of imaginative, screen-free play.

Because let's be honest...

If they can keep children entertained for even half an hour while you drink a hot cup of tea...

They're worth their weight in gold.

The offer launches soon, so keep an eye on our website and social media... and here's hoping we all survive the summer holidays in one piece!